Parents

Why isn't there a guidebook on how to reveal life-changing information to people? Maybe there is, and I just haven't seen it. There are How-To books for everything! The "For Dummies" franchise has everything including coaching lacrosse. COACHING LACROSSE! One would think that somewhere along the way someone could have written a book on how to tell your parents they're about to be grandparents. Man, that would have been useful Sunday afternoon!

Please don't misunderstand. I really do love my parents, but communicating to them, specifically my mother, has never been a talent I could master.

She has a knack for tuning me out. I think it may have to do with her methodical nature. She'll think 20 steps ahead and not live in the moment, resulting in missing in actual reality and obtaining the answers she wanted 20 steps ahead. The following example I submit to you as a regular scenario of our conversations:

MOM: So how are you?

ME: Things are going good. Church is doing well too.

MOM: That's good. Is the church doing well?

ME: Yes. Yes, it's doing well. Oh! I stopped by the mall yesterday and bought some new shirts.

MOM: While I'm thinking about it, did you get some new shirts yet?

ME: Yes, Mom! I just said that!

MOM: (Yelling) Why are you getting upset?! I just asked a question.

...and scene.

No, she's not hard of hearing. No, she didn't repair jet engines for a living. I don't know what it is, but something just doesn't click together between the two of us. So when Esther and I decided to immediately tell our parents the news, Sunday afternoon turned into something between depressing and entertaining.

We had already told Esther's parents the Saturday night we found out. Her parents were surprised but very happy and excited. Esther's mom was all smiles. Esther's father declared his right to ridiculously spoil his first grandchild. After coming off such a high, we thought it would be good to tell my parents as well.

We showed up at my parents house after church for lunch. Dad was shocked but happy. He hugged both of us. Mom...well...she was silent the entire time. She acted as if someone had run over her puppy and canceled her favorite TV show. She seemed bitter about the whole thing.

Esther and I knew that going in her demeanor would be hit-or-miss. Up until we told her, she seemed like she was in a good mood. Again, I'm not good at reading women. Apparently my wife isn't good at reading women either. So we ate dinner in an eerie silence. Dad tried to keep things positive but wasn't too successful. This was one of the most awkward lunches I have ever had with my parents, and, believe me, I've had some awkward moments with my mom over the years.

Hopefully she'll come around. Maybe that was her way of processing through the shock; however, first impressions do speak volumes.

I know there are challenges ahead, and that raising a child will not always be easy...if ever. I shared that sentiment with both sets of parents. But we're dealing with my mom, and we know how that goes.

Mom exploded with a non-stop rant of negativity. A parent's words, whether good or bad, have a huge impact on their child. My fears of being a parent myself were not soothed nor was I encouraged.

Esther and I left my parents house that day a little discouraged. I think my mom will come around and enjoy being a grandparent someday. It just wasn't today. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

Am I ready for all of this?

No way.